Captain Parker
by suzie2b
Summary: A sequel to "Popped"


**Disclaimer:** _ **The Rat Patrol**_ **is not my property. They come out to play sometimes, then I send them home.**

 **Captain Parker**

 **By Suzie2b**

 **When Captain Parker returned to Ras Tanura with his men, he immediately went to Captain Boggs' office.**

 **In the outer office, Corporal Green was sitting at his desk doing some of the ever-present paperwork when the Captain walked in demanding to see Boggs. "I'm sorry, Captain Parker, but Captain Boggs is busy at the moment."**

 **Parker started for the office door. "He's not too busy to see me!"**

 **Corporal Green tried to stop him, but Parker brushed passed him and barged into the office. Corporal Green followed the captain inside, saying quickly, "I'm sorry, sir. I told him you were busy, but he just pushed his way in."**

 **Captain Boggs frowned at Captain Parker and said, "That's all right, corporal. I'll take care of it." He looked at the man sitting in front of the desk. "We'll finish this up later, lieutenant." When they were alone, Boggs asked, "What's so important that couldn't wait, Parker?"**

 **The captain growled, "Did you arrest them?"**

" **Who?"**

" **Hitchcock and Pettigrew!"**

 **Captain Boggs stood up. "And what reason would I have to do that?"**

 **Captain Parker said, "You know as well as I do that they're the ones that sabotaged my convoy!"**

" **There was no evidence that they were the ones who put the popcorn in your trucks, Parker. In fact, there's no evidence that points to anyone. I think you should drop the matter."**

" **What they did was criminal, Boggs. I want them thrown in the stockade!"**

 **The captain said, "Criminal? Did the popcorn do damage to the trucks or to any of your men?"**

 **Parker huffed, "No, but those flying kernels could've put an eye out!"**

 **Boggs fought to hide his growing humor. "There's nothing to prove who pulled the prank, Parker."**

" **Oh, I'll get the proof, Boggs. Where's Hitchcock and Pettigrew now?"**

" **They aren't on base. I don't expect their unit back here for several days at least."**

 **#################**

 **The Rat Patrol returned to Ras Tanura after another successful mission against the Germans. Troy and Moffitt went to report in to Captain Boggs, and after handing over the information they'd retrieved from Major Schuster's camp, they were informed the Captain Parker was on the warpath.**

 **Captain Boggs said, "Captain Parker is hell-bent on proving Hitchcock and Pettigrew are guilty of that popcorn prank. You'd better tell them to be careful."**

 **Moffitt said, "Why is the captain so upset? It was a just a harmless prank, sir."**

 **Boggs smiled. "According to Parker, popcorn can put out an eye."**

 **Troy shook his head with a smile of his own. "How long is this going to be allowed to continue, sir?"**

" **I'm sure, as long as Hitchcock and Pettigrew behave themselves, it'll blow over soon enough."**

 **#################**

 **There was a knock at the door and Charley opened it wearing just her robe and smiled when she saw who it was. "Hi, Jack. What brings you here? I'd have thought you'd be hitting the showers by now."**

 **Moffitt grinned. "I will be just as soon as I talk to Tully."**

" **Come on in. We're just getting ready to take a shower ourselves."**

 **Tully came out of the closet half dressed. "What's goin' on, sarge?"**

 **Moffitt stepped inside and Charley closed the door. "It's Captain Parker. He's quite adamant he can to prove that you and Hitch are the popcorn pranksters. Captain Boggs wants you two to stay out of trouble until this whole thing blows over."**

" **Geez, no one got hurt and the popcorn couldn't have done any damage to the trucks. Why's he so fired up about it?"**

" **I imagine the good captain has never seen 'pranks' covered in the military handbook. Just behave and keep a low profile for a while."**

 **Tully nodded. "Will do, sarge."**

 **After Moffitt left, Charley looked at her husband with a suspicious smile. "Is there something I should know?"**

 **Tully grinned and hugged her against his bare chest. "Shower first."**

 **#################**

 **Over the days before and since the Rat Patrol got back to base, Captain Parker searched diligently for the proof he needed to have Hitch and Tully locked up. He questioned Sergeant Alexander about his report on two missing sacks of popcorn.**

 **Cookie actually laughed. "Best prank yet. But I have no idea who might've stolen that popcorn, sir."**

 **Captain Parker questioned the two men that were one duty in the mess hall the night before the convoy had left. One of them said, "Yeah, Mark was here that night. He said he couldn't sleep. He stayed and chitchatted for a bit then left. Tully wasn't with him though."**

 **With growing** **suspicion, Parker went to the motor pool and asked Sergeant Peters, "Who was on duty the night before my convoy pulled out?"**

 **Peters double-checked his roaster and said, "No one. Your convoy was packed and ready to go and there were no pressing mechanical issues, so I gave the guys the night off."**

" **Was anything unusual found in the area that morning?"**

 **The sergeant shrugged. "I don't remember…" Then Peters grinned and said, "I did hear one of the guys say something about finding kernels of popcorn over where your trucks had been parked. And someone found two empty bags in the trash."**

 **Captain Parker said, "Oh? Where are those bags now?"**

" **Kept 'em. Bags like that come in handy."**

 **Parker confiscated the canvas bags and had them sent to a lab in England with a request for any possible fingerprints. A few days later his package was returned to him with a note saying, "Are you kidding?!"**

 **#################**

 **While all this was going on, the Rat Patrol had come and gone on their daily patrols as they awaited another assignment. When they were on base both Hitch and Tully noticed that they were being watched at times.**

 **Tully and Charley were walking home after taking in the Sunday double feature at the mess hall. Tully found a piece of popcorn in his jacket pocket and absently dropped it to the ground. Moments later they heard someone behind them say, "Hold it right there, Pettigrew."**

 **Tully and Charley turned to see Captain Parker holding the dropped popcorn in his palm. "What is this?"**

 **Tully saluted then stepped over to see what the captain had. "Looks like popcorn, sir."**

 **Parker said tersely, "I saw you drop it, private."**

 **Tully plucked the offending kernel from the sergeant's hand. "Yes, sir, you did. I was wrong to have littered. I'll make sure this gets in a trash barrel, captain."**

 **Captain Parker began to pat Tully down. "Hiding anything else?" Another piece of popcorn was found. "Aha! More evidence!"**

 **Tully looked at Charley, who was doing nothing to hide her amusement. "Captain, Charley and I were at the movies. We had popcorn. I guess I'm a little messy when I eat it."**

" **Don't get smart with me, private. This just takes things one step closer to finding you and Hitchcock guilty."**

" **If you're referring to the 'popcorn caper' we've heard about, sir, it was my understanding that the popcorn in question wasn't popped."**

 **Captain Parker looked from Tully to the white, fluffy piece of popcorn in his hand. Then he saw that Charley was giggling at the situation. The captain opened his mouth to say something, then just shook his head and walked away.**

 **#################**

 **Hitch had an encounter with Captain Parker too. A few days after Tully was frisked, Hitch was walking back to his quarters with an empty popcorn sack slung over his shoulder when the captain stopped him and asked, "Just what do you think you're doing, private?"**

 **Hitch said, "Going to my quarters, captain."**

 **Parker stepped up to him and pulled the canvas bag off his shoulder. "And where did you get this?"**

" **Cookie just throws the empty bags away, so I snagged one to use for…"**

 **The sergeant cut him off. "You're hiding evidence, aren't you?"**

 **Hitch looked at him with confusion. "What evidence would that be, sir?"**

" **You know full well what I'm talking about, private!"**

" **Oh, you must mean the 'popcorn caper'." Hitch grinned. "I heard it was pretty funny, captain. May I ask why you think that bad is evidence. I was told you found the discarded ones the pranksters had stolen. You even sent them to be fingerprinted."**

 **Captain Parker looked at the sack he held tightly in his fist, trying desperately to think of something intelligent to say as his face turned bright red. Finally, his scowl deepened and he said, "Do I need to find something for you to do, private?"**

 **Hitch said innocently, "No, sir. I'm off duty."**

 **All Captain Parker could do was throw the sack to the ground and stomp away.**

 **#################**

 **The Rat Patrol was taking a break among some boulders for some lunch. Hitch and Tully were comparing notes on their encounters with Captain Parker.**

 **Troy said, "It's been how long since that popcorn incident? Nearly three weeks?" Moffitt, Hitch, and Tully agreed. "Maybe it's time to put a stop to this nonsense."**

 **Tully grinned. "But, sarge, it's been fun watching Captain Parker follow us around taking notes about our every move."**

 **Hitch added with a grin of his own, "He's not a very good detective and his face turns an interesting shade of red when you prove him wrong."**

 **Moffitt smiled and said, "As entertaining as this has been, I think Troy's right."**

 **Troy nodded. "I'll talk to Captain Boggs and see how he wants to handle this."**

 **#################**

 **That afternoon, when they'd returned from patrol, Troy went to Captain Boggs' office and explained what was going on. The captain agreed, "Yes, you're right. I'll go talk to Major Gleason."**

 **The next morning, Parker was called to the major's office. "Captain Parker, Captain Boggs tells me that you've been harassing the privates in Sergeant Troy's unit."**

 **Parker said, "Not 'harassing', sir. I'm gathering evidence."**

" **Well, I believe if you haven't found your evidence by now, you probably won't."**

" **But, major, this insubordination can't be ignored…"**

 **Major Gleason said pointedly, "Captain, I'm ordering you to let this matter drop. I don't want to hear any more about it. Have I made myself clear?"**

 **Parker nodded with a sigh. "Yes, sir."**

" **Good." The major handed a piece of paper to the captain and said, "Since it would seem you haven't had enough to do lately, here's a list of things I want done before the end of the day."**

 **#################**

 **It was late when Captain Parker was finally able to call it a day. He was exhausted after accomplishing everything Major Gleason had him do. The major had him running all over the base doing mainly busy work that he normally would have handed off to a lower ranking man to deal with.**

 **When he got to his quarters, Parker fished the key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. However, it only opened a few inches. He pushed harder and was rewarded with a couple more inches. The captain cursed under his breath and shoved as hard as he could. The door finally opened enough to let an avalanche of white, fluffy popcorn surround him up to his knees.**

 **#################**

 **It was Tuesday night and** _ **King Kong**_ **was being shown again. Troy, Moffitt, Hitch, Tully, and Charley were among those in the mess hall to watch it. Troy sat down next to Moffitt and said, "I'm surprised you want to see this movie again. Didn't thing you liked it the first time."**

 **Moffitt smiled. "I like cheering for the underdog."**

 **Charley said, "I prefer** _ **Gone with the Wind**_ **, but this one's fun to watch."**

 **Hitch and Tully went to the counter to get everyone in their group some popcorn before the movie started, but the big bowl was empty. Hitch called, "Hey, Cookie, where's the popcorn?"**

 **Sergeant Alexander came out of the kitchen and said, "Sorry, fellas, popcorn's all gone. There'll be a delivery a couple of days."**

 **Tully looked at the now empty corner where the bags had been stacked. "What happened to it all?"**

" **Don't rightly know. It just all disappeared."**

 **About halfway through the movie Captain Parker appeared in the mess hall in a rage. "Turn that damn movie off!" The movie stopped and the lights came on. "Where's Hitchcock and Pettigrew?" Hitch and Tully stood up, taking in the sight of the captain with popcorn stuck in the folds of his clothes. "This time you're both going to jail!"**

 **Troy stood up and asked, "What's going on, sir?"**

 **Captain Parker pointed at the privates. "There is a ton of popped popcorn in my quarters! I know this was their doing!"**

 **Troy looked at his privates as he said, "Captain, Hitchcock and Pettigrew were on patrol with Sergeant Moffitt and myself. There's no way they could've…"**

 **A voice from the back of the room said, "I can't let them be punished for something I did, sir."**

 **Parker pointed at the soldier. "You…"**

 **Another man stood up and said, "It was me, sir. I did it."**

 **Then one of the nurses stood up. "I did it, captain."**

 **One by one every man and woman in the mess hall stood up to take the blame. Captain Parker was beside himself and near hysterics. "Every one of you!** _ **Every last one of you**_ **are going to take responsibility for this!" He turned and stomped towards the door, saying, "I swear! You'll all be in the stockade before morning!"**

 **Troy watched the captain leave, then he said, "Well, let's see the rest of the movie."**

 **Everyone sat down, the lights went out, and** _ **King Kong**_ **picked up where it had left off.**

 **Charley leaned close to Tully and whispered, "I wonder who did do it?"**

 **Tully shrugged, then caught Sergeant John Alexander—a.k.a. Cookie—standing in the door to the kitchen staring back at him with the biggest grin anyone had ever seen on his usually scowling face.**

 **#################**

 **Major Gleason was in his pajamas when he yanked open the door to his quarters. He glowered at the captain as he said, "This had better be good, Parker!"**

 **The captain saluted and said, "Yes, sir. It is, sir. I want everyone that's in the mess hall arrested."**

" **You what? Have you lost your mind?"**

" **No, sir. Major, one or all of those people are responsible for the incident with my convoy and my quarters being filled with popcorn tonight."**

 **Major Gleason sighed. "Didn't I tell you to let the whole thing drop, captain?"**

 **Parker nodded. "Yes, sir, you did … but I now have something better than just evidence."**

" **And what, pray tell, would that be?"**

" **Confessions. Every one of them confessed their involvement, sir."**

 **Major Gleason looked at the captain worriedly. "I do believe you** _ **have**_ **lost your mind, Parker."**

 **The sergeant begged, "Please, major, if you'll only authorize…"**

" **No, Sergeant Parker, there will be no arrests. And I want you in my office at 0700 hours in the morning. I think you've been in North Africa too long."**


End file.
